{"id":468991,"date":"2020-05-19T23:56:37","date_gmt":"2020-05-20T06:56:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/disabilityvisibilityproject.com\/?p=468991"},"modified":"2026-02-12T17:19:28","modified_gmt":"2026-02-13T01:19:28","slug":"loving-stacey-milbern-a-rememberance","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/disabilityvisibilityproject.com\/2020\/05\/19\/loving-stacey-milbern-a-rememberance\/","title":{"rendered":"Loving Stacey Park Milbern: A Remembrance"},"content":{"rendered":"

My friend Stacey Park Milbern died today, May 19, 2020, on her birthday. I haven\u2019t cried yet and am overwhelmed with gratitude for knowing and loving her. I feel sadness and rage but I will not center myself in mourning her. In sharing her work and words here, may we all remember and celebrate Stacey.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\"A
Stacey Park Milbern, A mixed race Korean and white queer person smiles head on at the camera. She has big glasses and is wearing a crewneck. Her trach and wheelchair can be seen.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Movement Maker and Crip Ancestor<\/b><\/h3>\n

Stacey\u2019s writing was powerful and beautiful. Her Facebook posts would restore my soul and one of them moved me so much I asked Stacey to write <\/span>a guest essay in 2019<\/span><\/a> about crip ancestorship. And now Stacey is one of our disabled ancestors along with Mel Baggs<\/a>, <\/span>Carrie Ann Lucas, Ing Wong-Ward<\/span><\/a>, <\/span>Ki’tay Davidson<\/span><\/a>, <\/span>Laura Hershey<\/span><\/a>, and so many others.<\/span><\/p>\n

I do not know a lot about spirituality or what happens when we die, but my crip queer Korean life makes me believe that our earthly bodyminds is but a fraction, and not considering our ancestors is electing only to see a glimpse of who we are. People sometimes assume ancestorship is reserved for those of biological relation, but a queered or cripped understanding of ancestorship holds that, such as in flesh, our deepest relationships are with people we choose to be connected to and honor day after day.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ancestorship, like love, is expansive and breaks manmade boundaries cast upon it, like the nuclear family model or artificial nation state borders. My ancestors are disabled people who lived looking out of institution windows wanting so much more for themselves. It\u2019s because of them that I know that, in reflecting on what is a \u201cgood\u201d life, an opportunity to contribute is as important as receiving supports one needs. My ancestors are people torn apart from loves by war and displacement. It\u2019s because of them I know the power of building home with whatever you have, wherever you are, whoever you are with. My ancestors are queers who lived in the American South. It\u2019s because of them I understand the importance of relationships, place and living life big, even if it is dangerous. All of my ancestors know longing. Longing is often our connecting place.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"drawing
Drawing by Max Airborne of themself with #DisabilityJustice activist Stacey Park Milbern, smiling & happy after getting ice cream. Red words say \u201cwe need power to live.\u201d<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Speaking Truth to Power<\/b><\/h3>\n

In collaboration with queer BIPOC disabled people in the San Francisco Bay Area, Stacey created a home: the <\/span>Disability Justice Culture Club<\/span><\/a>. Her dream to renovate her home and create a space for organizing and gathering centered on joy became a reality a few years ago. Since the establishment of the DJCC, <\/span>the group mobilized<\/span><\/a> making hand sanitizer and providing mutual aid during the current coronavirus pandemic. Last year in response to the voluntary power shut offs by the utility PG&E, Stacey and a collective of disabled, fat, older, queer people banded together in the <\/span>Power To Live<\/span><\/a> campaign.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\"Photo
Photo showing a news segment from December 16, 2019 on KTVU Fox 2 featuring Dolores Tejada holding a microphone in front of Stacey Park Milbern as she reads a speech during a protest in front of PG&E headquarters<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

At a vigil and community gathering in Oakland on October 10, 2019, <\/span>Stacey gave these remarks<\/span><\/a>:\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Right now when there is a climate emergency, people who live in nursing homes and institutions get left behind. Often times staff, families and community members want to rescue them, even physically fighting nursing home administrators, but are barred because of policy. It is not uncommon for people in institutions to die because they were not rescued. Many advocates are fighting for what we call the right to be rescued. The. Right. To. Be. Rescued.<\/span><\/p>\n

All across the bay, disabled people are providing mutual aid to one another. We are calling our friends and community regularly to check in. We are helping each other find housing and evacuate. We are sourcing generators, ice, and medication. We are making sure people are getting updates in a format accessible to them. We are hosting and transporting people, stranger and friend alike. The world might not care if we live or die but we do.<\/span><\/p>\n

Disabled queer artist <\/span>Alli Yates<\/span><\/a> says disabled wisdom saves lives. Do you remember last year when no one could breathe and Mask Oakland disseminated thousands of masks? That was the work of disabled people too. We live and love interdependently. We know no person is an island, we need one another to live. No one does their own dental work or cuts their own hair. We all need support. Hierarchy of what support is okay to need and what isn\u2019t is just ableism.<\/span><\/p>\n

Go home and check on your neighbors. Rest. Reflect on why we must combat capitalism, racism, classism and ableism that thinks so little of humanity that some people are reduced to expected losses. There is a lot to do and it\u2019s going to take all of us. Thank you.<\/span><\/p>\n

If you have the means, you can support the work of the <\/span>Disability Justice Culture Club<\/span><\/a> and follow them for updates on how to best honor and remember Stacey.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Venmo at @Yomi-Wrong<\/span><\/p>\n

Email: <\/span>disabilityjusticecultureclub@gmail.com<\/span><\/p>\n

Call: 925-308-6384\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n